Catch Yourself Sliding Into Overwhelm Before You Get Sick, Quit or Revolt

Did you know that your physical body is the last place dis-ease and the effects of overwhelm and burnout show up?

By the time you feel exhausted or foggy or show other physical symptoms, you’ve already depleted yourself. The dis-ease has rooted itself into your physical body or your mental mind, and it takes much longer to recover and return to a state of harmony.

Consider the word disease — not just as physical symptom or a diagnosis but as a state of un-ease within you. Dis- means…

I sat down on international women’s day to write a letter to the hearts of the women of the world, and the men who also cared to listen. The following is what came. It is more of a letter for your contemplation and consideration, an invitation and an opening to how we move from here, knowing that we come from a long line of courageous women (and men) who have dared to do things differently… and that now is the time for that same daring to guide us.

When I look back at the generations of women who have come…

Self love is one of those things we should be learning about from the time we can walk or enter pre-school, and all throughout our adult lives. But sadly, most of us never received an education on what self-love really is. We confuse it with self-esteem. Or mistakenly believe it’s selfish. So we make choices in our relationships and careers, struggle with our bodies and money, suffer with emotional and mental ups and downs without realizing that a lack of self-love is at the root.

A lack of self-love is at the root of every challenge and self-sabotaging or self-limiting…

It was our third date. I will remember it for the rest of my life. Not because this man became my life partner, but because of the three sentences he uttered that reframed my entire relationship with men.

We had been walking down the streets of Chicago, sharing stories about each other’s previous relationships. Noah’s stories had been short, some sweet, some heartbreaking, and all relatively succinct. I had not noticed that we had walked a good mile or more, and I was still telling tales from my previous engagement to a man who let’s just say, had a temper.

I am a big believer that how you complete a year has a potent impact on how you begin and live the next. Sadly in our culture, the rituals we have for completing a year set us more up for overwhelm or more of the same that’s not working for us, than they do for a higher level of personal success and happiness.

I can’t remember ever spending a New Year’s Eve that made me feel more replenished and ready to begin the year strong and clear. You?

Too often the holiday boost gets us through the first week of…

Feminine super powers for creating a new equation for success

There is a reason we find it so hard to “find balance” or “create work/ life balance.” We are smart women, yet no matter how much sleep we get, or how many productivity strategies we implement or weekly yoga classes we take, we have not solved the elusive search for balance that has plagued women for over 50 years.

And it’s not our fault.

Work/life balance as an equation for success is a faulty equation. …

I’ll never forget the day when I realized that I had a mean girl living inside my head.

Just like a mean girl on the playground, she could make me feel left out, lonely and like I didn’t belong. Or like the mean girls I had encountered in my corporate career, manipulative and competitive, my Inner Mean Girl loved to drive me to work really hard (to the point of exhaustion), compare me to people who are ‘farther ahead,’ and make me keep adding more to my already full plate.

All women have an Inner Mean Girl that makes her…

It’s Hard to Be Happy When Someone’s Mean To You All the Time

Every day you have tens of thousands of thoughts run through your mind. The vast majority of them are negative. And too often, that negativity is directed at the one person who deserves it least — you.

It’s okay to admit, you are harder on yourself than anyone else could be, most of us are.

We beat ourselves up for all the things we think we should do better, should be able to get done in a day, should be able to figure out.

We blame yourself…

Over the course of the last decade of working with women and girls and the voice in their head that can fill even the most confident of us with negative self-talk and self-doubt, I’ve identified 33 common self-sabotaging habits most women and girls suffer from. Some for a short time, some for our whole lives. Problem is unlike a physical disease like a rash, or a cold which can be seen on the outside and treated with medicine, negative self-talk is like a silent debilitator and the medicine isn’t something you can buy over the counter. The medicine is self-love.

For today, I thought I’d dive deep to share one of the self sabotaging habits I’ve struggled with the most, and that I’ve witnessed about every girl and woman I know be afflicted by: Comparison.

Let’s start by defining Comparison:

We all need support, but most of us struggle to ask for it or receive it when it comes. Needing support is not weak. The weakness is in thinking yourself so strong, self-sufficient or solitary that you ignore your needs, and as a result sacrifice yourself or settle for less than is possible.

One thing I have noticed in my over 40 years of being a woman who was fed the message “You can do it all!” like a bowl of Wonder Woman Wheaties is this:

We women operate like banks who only give withdrawals — we give and give…

Christine Arylo

Best-Selling Author, Feminine Leadership Advisor & Teacher, MBA, new ways of leading, living and succeeding. Host of Feminine Power Time podcast.

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